Welcome

Here at Loving This Messy Life I firmly believe that all moms deserve to break free from negativity and finite thinking and learn to cultivate a life we love!

It’s a messy process filled with bumps, setbacks, frustration, and all the other goodness that comes from raising a family in a culture that is constantly throwing more our way, and yelling “You Can’t” in our face.

Finite thinking tries to trick us into judging ourselves by arbitrary metrics.

But the game of Motherhood is infinite. There is no winning, losing, or failing.

There is only playing.

And the best part?

We get to choose how we play!

We don’t have to accept the status quo, put our head down, and feel miserable because we’re using someone else’s metrics to judge our self-worth and importance.

We can choose to play with a growth mindset, raise children who do the same, and slowly transform our lives and our culture from the inside out.

It’s not easy and it’s definitely a messy process, but it is so so so worth the investment!!!

My mission here on the blog is to provide you with the resources you need to play the game on your terms.

We cannot change the culture from without, but we can change how we experience it from within!

It all Starts with Mindset

How many times has your inner dialogue gone something like this:

” I’m a failure. I just cannot seem to get it together. The house is always a mess, the kids are always fighting, I’m always tired and feel like crap. I miss my friends, I miss meaningful work. But I can’t have that, there isn’t time. The kids need x, y, z, and we can’t afford a babysitter. I want to be a great mom. I want to sit down on the floor and play with my kids, I want to cook healthy means from scratch so we can stop feeling like crap. I want to do something with my life, but I’m stuck. I chose to be a mom and this is just how it is.”

Motherhood is hard in and of itself, without us being ourselves up internally!!!

The idea that motherhood is an intense period of soul crushing self-sacrifice is pervasive in our culture.

And it is so easy to grab a hold of. We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us that we’re failures because…

Three years ago I was deep in this mindset. It colored my whole world and I couldn’t see a way out. I spent my days depressed and overwhelmed, feeling like a complete failure.

My relationships with my family, my house, and my career (or lack there of) were a complete mess. I wanted great things but bought the lie that because I chose motherhood I couldn’t have any of it.

It wasn’t until 2017 when our entire world came fully crashing down that my eyes were finally opened to the truth.

I was so busy taking care of everyone around me I had stopped investing in myself.

I had bought into the lie that I was fixed

I reached a point where I had no more to give to others so I had to start giving to myself.

And in doing so I finally learned the truth about Motherhood!!!

Yes this season is hard!

And yes there are times we will need to make sacrifices.

BUT

Motherhood is not meant to be constant drudgery where we slowly become a shadow of former ourselves.

It is not meant to be a period of austerity and loneliness where we’re shut away from things we used to love simply because we have children and can’t seem to get it all together.

It’s meant to be a time of abundance!

Where our hearts and hands are full because we are both giving and receiving.

This was the ultimate piece of the puzzle.

Believing

Really believing that motherhood could be more.

That I could be more.

It wasn’t that I was defective or incapable, or a failure.

I simply lacked three things.

Three things that I could cultivate if I wanted to:

Mindset + Skills + Habits/Routines

There are real solutions to the everyday challenges we face that get to the root of our struggles.

• How would it feel to be able to sit down on the floor and play with your children without feeling guilty about the piles of laundry, dirty dishes, and never ending to do list looming over you
• How would it feel to have the physical strength to be able to run and play chase with your child whenever they wanted without worrying if its going to leave you so drained you can’t function?
• How would it feel to wake up in the morning excited to face the day because its filled doing meaningful things with the people you love instead of endless battles with your children and spouse.
• How would it feel if you could pursue your interests fully while still knowing your family’s needs are beyond met?

These are the questions I started asking myself 3 years ago. I was desperate for a change.

These were the three things holding me back BUT they’re not fixed. I realized I can take action to change them and so can you!

Once I realized this and set to doing the work doors started opening.

Slowly my life began to transform and I started to love my life again.

I created my own framework for managing the household which I started calling Functionalization. Blending minimalism and habit formation to create a space I love that functions exactly as my family needs it, without being a huge time suck!

I conquered our seemingly endless battle with food allergies and all of the stress that comes from having to cook every meal from scratch.

I found time to meet my body’s needs physically and mentally so I am stronger and ready for whatever my kids throw at me.

And I finally stopped denying myself and started actively pursuing my interests. Including starting a second business helping moms do the same!

So welcome to the journey!!!

You can break free and cultivate a life you love!

And the resources here at Loving this Messy Life are here to help you take those first steps!!!